Remembering You
by Lonepichu
Summary: Axel remembers his life and feelings if Nobodies CAN feel while at Organization XIII while he fades away after helping Sora


Remembering You

Disclaimer: Yes, I own them, so sue me! Oh wait, wrong choice of words! I mean, of COURSE I don't own them. You know what Them is/are/was/will be. A oneshot centered around the ship I'm currently obsessed with.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Axel looked up at Sora and smiled, having used up the last of his energy by putting all of himself into his last kamikaze attack. Even though Axel was disappearing and in a moment would no longer exsist, though he didn't exsist now as it were, he couldn't help but to smile. Sora reminded him so much of Roxas. Then again, Sora was Roxas in a way. Axel closed his eyes, letting the memories flood his mind; not daring to hold them back.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Xemnas, why do I get all the hard jobs? Retrieve this, fight that, buy that, I want something exciting." Axel complained, following Xemnas down the hallway.

"You only get these jobs because you are of the lowest rank, but today you will have someone new to boss around. I want you to go meet the new member; member number thirteen. He will be your new help in such tasks that you are complaining about." Xemnas looked extremally annoyed, but his tone of voice was cold and flat as always.

Axel smiled and put a hand on his hip, "So where can I find this new member, and what's his name?"

"His name shall be hence forth Roxas. This is a vary important mission, so do not blow it Axel. Roxas is the nobody of someone very special and we can't afford to let him find out who because it would be his downfall. He's in front of the skyscrapper in the center of the world that never was. Bring him to the meeting room as soon as you find him."

"That's not so far away, oh boy!" Axel, happy to have someone else that would be given boring jobs with him, hurridly jumped into his doorway of darkness and reappeared at the skyscrapper. "Ugh, this place gives me the creeps," Axel shivered. Though the Nobodies' stronghold was on the World that never was, the place still creeped him out. "Roxas, you around here?" Axel called.

A groan came as Axel's answer. A blond-haired boy was laying on the stairs. Axel grabbed the boy's arm and helped the him to his feet. "Where am I? Who am I? Who are you?" the questions annoyed Axel, but for some reason, Axel found himself reluctant to let go of the boy. They were about two years apart, Axel being the elder, and Roxas was wearing the same black cloak as all of organization XII. Though since they had a thirtennth member, Axel assumed that they would now be Organization XIII.

"You're in the creepiest place that will never exsist, the World that never was. Your name is Roxas, a nobody, a heartless shell of a body that still contains a soul, and I, Axel pleased to meet you, have been sent to pick you up and take you to the meeting room of Organization thirteen." Axel released the boys arm, but still felt the boy's touch lingering on his arm.

"Roxas?" Roxas observed himself with the curiosity of a kitten.

"Yes, got it memorized?" Axel smiled, but then frowned as he remembered his mission. "Come on, we have to hurry to the meeting room." Roxas nodded slowly, though he still looked confused. Axel grabbed his arm again and lead Roxas through the darkness into the meeting room. There, chairs of differant heights were arranged in a circle inside an all-white room, save for the red cushions upon the chair. The chairs height was in accordance to the rank of the sitter. Axel was pleased to see that Roxas' chair was at the same level as his. "At least I'm not the only person at the bottom rung anymore," Axel thought to himself.

The procedings of the meeting are a blur in Axel's memory. All that he could remember was that Roxas was to help Axel and work closely with Axel and that Axel was pleased with the procedings. Roxas was also taught how to use the darkness and about how he became a nobody, but he was never taught who's nobody he was. Then again, Axel didn't know who he (Axel) was a nobody of either.

"So, what was our mission again?" Roxas asked as he bit off a peice of sea-salt icecream from the popsicle he was enjoying.

"We were supposed to see if Twilight Town was experiancing an invasion of heartless." Axel licked the stick of his ice cream and threw it over his shoulder. Axel then opened another sea-salt icecream bar and began to lick it thoughtfully. "So far, we haven't found anything."

Roxas laughed as he surveyed Twilight Town from their perch on the clock tower that over looked the city, "Not that we've looked anywhere except for the icecream shop and this tower."

"Hey, even a nobody needs a break," Axel smiled, tossing another popsicle stick over his shoulder and taking another icecream.

"Good thing we bought a crateful at the rate you're eating those things." Roxas laughed. Axel laughed upon hearing Roxas's laughter for it was music to his ears.

"A nobody does not have a heart, a nobody can not feel or laugh or love," Xemnas' words echoed through Axel's mind and Axel ceased his laughter, letting the icecream stick hang hap-hazardly from his fingertips.

"What's wrong?" Roxas looked at his red-maned friend with concern. "This is so unlike you, perhaps it's brain freeze."

Axel managed to choke out a laugh, but a small one, "You know what Xemnas said about nobodies?"

"That we are unfeeling, unloving entities. A soul and body trapped together, heartless forever," Roxas mocked Xemnas' series tone. "Oh come on, is that what's bothering you? So what if we technically 'can't feel' we can still laugh..."

"Still love?" Axel cut off Roxas.

"Even if what a nobody feels isn't real, you can still treat it as it is. And what is real anyways? Reality is in the eye of the beholder," Roxas' scratchy voice sent chills up Axel's spine.

Axel smiled and took a huge bite out of his icecream, "Yeah, what is reality anyways?" Axel soon finished his icecream and proceded his cycle of eating.

Roxas smiled and tossed his only icecream stick with the others. He took another one and glanced at Axel, "You have the fastest mood changes of anyoen I know, not that I know many people. Why did you want to know about the feeling and love thing?" Roxas' heart beat as he prepaired for the answer.

Axel just smiled and devoured another icecream. "Roxas, it's just that I..." the clock below them chimed as another hour passed by. Axel swore, "I guess we better actually do our job,"

"Not that there are any icecreams left after you ate them all." Roxas picked the crate up and turned it upside down to show that no icecreams remained. The two of them went to do their job, laughing gaily.

Axel walked down the empty corridors of the Nobody strong hold, feeling his way along the walls as the lights were dimmed for the night. Axel hated nights where he couldn't sleep because he seemed to be the only person in the Organization with this problem. Axel was searching for the kitchen, hoping against hope that perhaps some sea-salt icecream lurked within the freezer. Axel managed to locate the kitchen, the fact that he ofton had a midnight snack didn't hinder his search any.

Axel opened the freezer hopefully, but found the box of sea-salt icecream was empty. Axel sighed, his shoulders slumping, when he heard a familiar voice that brought his ears pleasure, "Looking for this?" Roxas held up an icecream teasingly. "Axel, I'm surprised at you. With all this icecream you are seriously going to ruin your girlish figure."

"Very funny, what are you doing up so late?" Axel tried his best to look angry, but his eyes failed to hide his joy at seeing a freindly face in the night. Axel reached for the icecream, but Roxas stepped aside.

"Same reason you're up so late, couldn't sleep." Roxas tore the wrapper off of the icecream and held it up. Axel reached for it, but Roxas stepped back again. Roxas then gave it a lick.

"You can lick it, but I still want it," Axel smiled, then swirled behind Roxas and grabbed the icecream. Roxas wouldn't give up the icecream and Axel wasn't about to let go.

Suddenly, the kitchen light turned on and Xaldin entered. Xaldin looked from Axel to Roxas, who were both still clutching the icecream and shook his head. "Should have known," Xaldin walked over to the fridge, grabbed a beer, and left the room, not bothering to turn the lights out.

Axel and Roxas were both red enough to match Axel's hair. However, they weren't embaressed enough to release the icecream, and the icecream struggle continued. In the end, Axel and Roxas decided to split the icecream.

"I didn't know Xaldin drank," Axel commented as he licked his half. "Wonder what he'll say about us."

"Oh, let them talk. We got our icecream, and that's all that matters." Roxas had received the hald without the stick, so he was trying to eat his fast so that it wouldn't make his black gloves too sticky.

"Is that all that matters?" Axel looked at Roxas over his empty icecream stick.

"Of course not," Roxas looked at Axel. Their eyes met and they held each other's gaze for a moment. "There is so much more that matters."

"Things deprived from nobodies, right?" Axel could feel his pulse quicken, almost as if he had a heart. Axel laughed, "You know, you make me feel as if I actually have a heart." Axel ran a hand through his spikey, red mane of hair. His light-green eyes softened and he allowed himself to grin openly.

"I know what you mean. I never knew nobodies could feel, period. But it's true! I...have feelings when I'm with you. Strange, huh?" Roxas laughed, looking up at his pyro-manic friend and felt something growing inside him where his heart would be if only he had one.

"It's not strange at all. I have them too, then again, perhaps that does make it strange." Axel laughed and Roxas joined in. Before Axel knew it, Roxas had moved closer to him and Axel felt a tingling of pleasure course through his body. Axel took Roxas into his arms and held him close.

"No matter what happens to us, whether or not we are ever able to regain our hearts, I just hope we do it together."Roxas sighed.

Axel sighed, hugging the boy closer. Roxas turned and wrapped Axel in his arms. Then, feeling bold, Axel kissed Roxas. Roxas was a bit surprised at first, but he was soon kissing Axel back. The two had never been so happy, even if their happiness was only an illusion, however it was short lived. Footsteps began to sound all around the halls. "Oh man, what time is it?" Axel looked at the clock on the kitchen wall and saw that it was time for the morning meeting. Axel swore, as did Roxas, and together, hand-in-hand, the two walked to the meeting room.

However, the meeting was anything but pleasant to Axel and Roxas. "You want me to do this by myself? But I work better with Roxas!"

"And I could help him to do it so much more quickly if the two of us go!"

"DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME!" Xemnas shouted, raged that two of his lower ranks would dare talk back to him. "DO AS YOU ARE TOLD!" and with that, Xemnas stormed out of the meeting hall; the rest of the organization following.

"I can't believe this," though he had no heart, Axel could feel whatever he had breaking.

"Perhaps it will be only temporary," Roxas suggested, though they both knew that the chances of that were slim to none. The tasks they were given would either destroy them, or drive them so far apart because their tasks were sure to get them promoted to individual job status.

"Well, we'll still see each other, right?" Axel looked hopefully at Roxas. Roxas smiled and nodded his head, though they both knew that they wouldn't be seeing nearly as much of eachother, the thought of still keeping in touch was enough to them.

"I can't believe that someone is looking to fight me," Roxas frowned, deep in thought. "I mean, what's so special about me? This Riku does sound like trouble though. Still, why has the Organization trusted me to take care of him? Couldn't they send Xaldin or, well, anyone else?" Roxas sighed, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I'm not sure either. Then again, why is Xemnas trusting me to rid th Organization of all of it's traitors? I mean this is just so strange, and why all of a sudden?" Axel then remembered something he had once read. "I guess sometimes our actions are dtermined way before they occur. Perhaps there is nothing that could ever have been done to pervent this from occuring."

"Well, I suppose we both better get going," Roxas sighed and turned. He could already feel tears burning his eyes. "Wait a minute, I'm crying!" Roxas was shocked. Xemnas had always said that nobodies could not love or cry.

"So am I, perhaps this is why he choose us," Axel was refering to Xemnas, "because we're not like other nobodies. We can love and cry and hurt. Speaking of which, I love you, Roxas."

Axel's blunt statement of this fact shocked Roxas for a second, but he smiled, "I love you Axel."

"Got it memorized?" Axel winked.

"I think the better question is, do you?" the two laughed and shared one last kiss before they both went their seperate ways.

OoO

"Never a dull moment," Axel thought to himself as he saw Larxene fall and die under the power of his kamikaze. "If this is how the Organization treats it's own members, I'd hate to be standing on it's opposing side." Axel dropped to his knees, catching his breath. "Not that the keyblad-weilder is making it any easier."

Axel stood up and looked around him to the pure white room. The blood that has smeared the flooer, as well as Lasxene's body, had disappeared. Axel sighed and looked out the only window inside the prison of purity-Castle Oblivion-at the eternal night sky and it's many stars. "Roxas, I pray that you're doing better then I am."

Axel crossed the room and saw Namine drawing carelssly on her drawing pad. "Hello Axel," she spoke in a calm, collected voice that was full of understanding; a voice that truly annoyed Axel.

"What are you drawing?" Namine smiled and held the pad up for Axel to see. It was a picture of two badly drawn boys in cloaks. One with red hair, one with blonde, both were standing with their backs facing the viewer of the art. "Is that Roxas and I?"

Namine didn't answer his question directly, "These are two people who are best friends and in love, though they both have not the heart to love with."

"In case you've forgotten, you don't have a heart either." Axel didn't like Namine or how she could so easily manipulate a memory.

"Axel, there is still so much for you to learn," Namine sighed and went back to drawing her distorted stair case upon which a boy, a duck, and a strange dog were wondering lost. Axel noticed that the silver haired boy was gone from the picture. Namine noticed his interest and responded, "He's gone to challenge the one you love, yet can't love."

Axel jumped back and almost slapped Namione, however he caught himself and took a deep breathe. "If I want to get away from this castle, I better work fast. After all, Namine isn't the only person who can manipulate people.

Axel worked fast on his pawns: Sora, Namine, and the remaining traitors to Organization XIII. After making sure that a win was favourable to him, Axel escaped the castle, knowing that he would probably receive praise and punishment from the Organization. Praise for accomplishing his goal, punishment for abandoning it.

OoO

Roxas looked grim, as if he had just seen his ghost. Axel sighed as he watched the boy walk away from the fight with Riku. Even though Roxas had won, he had lost a part of himself in that battle. "So your mind is made up?" Roxas stopped, but did not turn to look at Axel.

Roxas still did not turn, "I have to know, why did the keyblade choose me? I'm willing to do whatever it takes to find out why."

"You can't turn your back on the Organization!" Axel was scared because he knew all to well what happened to traitors, "You get on their badside and they'll destroy you!" Axel was desperate, but he already knew that his attempt was futile.

"No one would miss me," Roxas opened a door to the darkness and stepped inside.

"That's not true..." Axel said aloud, hoping somehow his words would reach Roxas, "I would."

Axel sank to his knees on the street corner, the rain creating puddles around him, and allowed his tears to join the rain. He let his tears lull him to sleep, not caring that his bed was an oil-stained sidewalk in a world that did not exsist.

OoO

Axel no longer cared about the Organization. All his joy had been drained and Axel truely knew what it meant to be a nobody. "So, those feelings really were a mistake," Axel sighed. It had been almost a year since he had last seen Roxas. Since then, Axel had been mindlessly working for the Organization while devouting all of his thoughts to finding Roxas and leaving the Organization for good. What good was retreiving his heart if he didn't have Roxas to share it with?

A surprise knock came to Axel's door. Axel picked up his blades, to be on the safe side, and opened the door. It was Xemnas, "Axel, we have located Roxas." Axel dropped his blades. "And we're sending you to retreive him. Try not to drop your blades again, it could be the end of your non-life if you do it again."

"Where?" Axel dared not speak more for his emotions might spill out.

"Twilight Town, but not the one we know. One that has been created by that fool, who I believe is now calling himself DIZ, my old teacher. The door to darkness shall lead you where you need to go."

Axel didn't need any further instruction. He instantly opened the door to darkness and hurried to the alternate Twilight Town.

OoO

Axel could not believe that after so long of convencing himself that he no longer possessed a heart that it could still be broken. "He doesn't remember me," Axel sighed. "The Roxas I know is long gone. Fine... I see how it is..." Axel had been sure that Roxas would remember him. At their first meeting, Roxas' fashion sense had put him off, but Axel eagerly accepted the chance to meet his old love. However, Roxas could not remember Axel.

Then, Roxas seemed to have remembered that they were friends, but could not remember anything else. Afterwards, Roxas seemed to have just disappeared. "No, I can't give up! I don't even care about whether or not a nobody can feel. Screw love and sorrow! I just want, no need, to get him back, make him remember. After that, I'm through witht he Organization, FOREVER!"

OoO

Axel knelt down, feeling himself losing conciousness after his fight with Roxas. "Well, I suppose that this is where our road ends, though I suppose it ended a year ago when we got those stupid assignments." Axel smiled, though it pained him. Axel knew he wouldn't die in this fake world, but that still didn't stop the fear from catching in the back of his throat, but he ignored it.

"Stupid assignments from a stupid group with a stupid goal." Roxas sighed, finally able to remember all that had transpired. "We'll meet again in the next life." Roxas hoped those words portrayed his feelings accurately.

"Sill," Axel couldn't help but laugh, "just because you have a next life..." but the rest of his words were lost as his data from the fake Twilight Town was erased. Axel sat up in his room and hit the wall as hard as he could, leaving a sizable dent. Even though nothing indicated it, Axel knew that this was the lasttime that he would ever see his blonde-haired love in this lifetime.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Sora looked at Axel with saddnes, or was it Roxas? It didn't matter anymore because in that look, Axel got the answer to all of his questions. "What were you trying to do with Kairi?" Sora asked, his voice full of concern.

Axel sighed and let a small smile play upon his lips. "I wanted to see Roxas again," another memory hit him, but he was fading too fast to have another trip down memory lane. "He was the only one I liked," Axel sighed, "he made me feel... as if I still had a heart." Axel chuckled and looked beyond Sora and to Roxas. "It's kind of funny, you make me feel the same..." Axel saw Roxas cry out to the heart that he no longer possessed, but Axel felt Roxas's love all the same. Axel gave his love back with his last once of strength and faded into nothingness.


End file.
